I know it sounds cliche to say "I don't even remember what it was like before Grace was diagnosed," but it's such a true statement. Looking back, life must have been easy and carefree. Initially, life after Grace's diagnosis was so hard and I was so weary. By God's grace and strength, I was able to make it through to the other side. The life we lead now feels normal to me. When we were having to go to the clinic weekly and watch Grace's hair slowly fall out, I knew that wasn't normal and I longed so much for a normal life again. I finally feel like we've reached normal. It definitely isn't the same normal that we had before Grace's diagnosis, but it is a new normal that we feel blessed to have. Most days are like everyone else's days with the exception of a few meds we have to give Grace. Other days, we're reminded that we have a child in treatment for cancer and how much that stinks.
Craig and I are leaving for Mexico this weekend. I am trying to prepare by getting a medicine chart ready for the grandparents and directions for calling the doctor if anything were to happen or if she was to spike a fever. All things that most parents don't have to worry about when they go on vacation.
I could sit and worry about next week and what would happen if she were to get sick and we'd be hundreds miles away, but a part of our new normal is completely trusting God. Of course, I trusted God before, but never like this. My new normal is growing deeper and deeper with God and thanking Him for the small and big blessings in our life. My new normal is knowing how quickly life can change and trying to remember to live in the moment. My new normal is hugging and kissing my kids and husband everyday and telling them that I love them. My new normal is the normal that God has chosen for me.
